October 2025

I’m sitting cross-legged on the floor of the ship’s used-book nook. My wife kneels next to me; we’re both facing another gentleman. Dried blood crusts a gash on his cheek and dots his Hawaiian shirt. My wife cradles her arm; I’m sure it’s broken.

“We’ve got thousands of photos of the boobies. Yeah, they’re cute. I get it. But he’s gonna need another holiday to get through ‘em all.” Sara explains. “There’s other critters too, ya know.”

“I saved up for a year so we could take this anniversary cruise to the Galapagos, and she refers to the amazing wildlife surrounding us as critters!” My wife never could appreciate the small things.

“I sense the tension between you two. Shawn, was this what Sara wanted for your anniversary?” We’ve turned poor Gary into our unwitting marriage counselor.

Smack.

I peek my head around the corner. The boobies have made it into the ship’s interior. I stare into the red iris of one of them as it cocks its head, studying the glass door to the book nook. It backs up, flaps its wings, and flies into the glass again. A sea lion waddles past the door down the hallway. A bloodied hand hangs from its mouth.

I turn back to my wife and Gary. “I think a sea lion ate someone!”

“See! He always deflects. Never wants to share emotions–” Sara begins.

“Sara, now’s not a good time ya think? The sea lions’re bloody eating the passengers!” I stand up. “You heard the announcement earlier. We’ve gotta get to the casino; they’ve got an aid and shelter station there.”

Gary stands up and grabs the book payment lockbox. I laugh. “What ya gonna do with that thing?”

“Throw it? There’s nothing else here that’s weapon-y. But I agree–we can’t stay here.”

Sara stands and grabs a stone bust of Darwin with her good arm.

“Talk about evolution!” I chuckle dryly. “Ok, count of three. One. Two…” Sara runs towards the door screaming, Darwin raised above her head. “Three?” Gary and I run after her.

Sara shoves the door open and the three of us stand back-to-back in the hallway.

“Looks clear to me,” I say. “Run!”

We run to the grand staircase and head down. I hear the barking before we see them. A dozen sea lions block the hallway towards the casino. Behind them, I can see iguanas crawling over bodies dotting the hallway.

The sea lions move forward, blue-footed boobies perched on their backs. Effing boobies will perch on anything.

“I’m sorry, Sara! We should have gone to Disney World!” I shout. I spy a fire extinguisher and break the glass.

“Charge!!” I shout. The three of us run into the sea lions, Darwin, lock-box, and extinguisher thudding as we attack back. A booby lands on Gary’s head, then it all goes black.

******

Oct 19, 2024. NatGeo wishes to extend its sympathies to the families of our Galapagos Endeavour guests who were taken ill recently.